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Thursday, July 31


I'm unhappy,
buay song type of unhappy.
(p.s. sebas n chance)I dont think I'm that unreasonable.
I chose to keep quiet. FULLSTOP
大好きの君はうそぅつぎ ほんとせつなくて ...

okies, put aside what I found out ytd ...
I'm quite happy for today is my last UT
wahhahahs NO more UTs !!!
well at least for the next 1month I guess -.-
AND AND AND my faci today ROCKS totally,
no one is as ai zai as him la really.
plus holidays are in the next 13 days WOO HOOOO ~ !!!!
for 3 weeks yea ...

Do Me More - namie amuro

un deux trois

甘い香り 誘われて来たの?
パンくず探して迷っていたの?
さっきから気にしてるYou wanna know
what's in the box?a rich one? a cheap one?

シャイなBoyでいたいからって are you?
ほんとは欲しいって顔に書いてある
消した足音
際どいmissionを
難易度は相当
But I'll be there
You don't have to worry no more

宙ぶらりん
Are we flyin'?
何したい?
It gets deeper in the dream world
深い催眠
湿る肌に
這う小指が導く先には

目を閉じても消えないFantasy
夢-現実 境目なんて曖昧に
Bass Line がこの世界では案内人
怪しくてほら煌めくR&Me
迷子のふりして You want me more
何度でも Feel that you love me more
お菓子の城で You wanna give me more, more, more
Do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more

Your red shinin' lips like a queen butterfly
そんな大胆な誘いは嫌いじゃない
もっと奥まで知りたいなら question
答えて How you feel good? "I feel good"

無意識に求めてる最上級
どんなものよりcleanで確実
Timeは丁度
昂ぶる表情
もう中毒症状
これ以上
You don't have to cry そうでしょ?

赤い風船
浮かぶ you say
「君が優先」
It gets deeper in the dream world
ヤバイ運命
視線の上
そこに見える扉を開ければ

目を閉じても消えないFantasy
夢-現実 境目なんて曖昧に
Bass Line がこの世界では案内人
怪しくてほら煌めくR&Me
迷子のふりして You want me more
何度でも Feel that you love me more
お菓子の城で You wanna give me more, more, more
Do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more

浮き出すlineは今宵の月よりsexy
目で追う先に漂う仄かなincense
(C'mon)
迷路のようなこの世界
Every way that you choose
どれが正解? (ねえ?)
答え全部 on your mind
さあまだまだこれから
kick the floor (yeah)
嫌なことばかりなら
別人になったつもりでどう?
だってここはSpecial Dreamin' World

目を閉じても消えないFantasy
夢-現実 境目なんて曖昧に
Bass Line がこの世界では案内人
怪しくてほら煌めくR&Me
迷子のふりして You want me more
何度でも Feel that you love me more
お菓子の城で You wanna give me more, more, more
Do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more



♥ murasakiyukiko
9:57 AM




Wednesday, July 30


Dependent personality disorder

Diagnostic Criteria

1.Has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others
2.Needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life
3.Has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval (this does not include realistic fears of retribution)
4.Has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on his or her own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities rather than a lack of motivation or energy)
5.Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant
6.Feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for himself or herself
7.Urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends
8.Is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of himself or herself


D – Difficulty making everyday decisions
E – Excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others
P – Preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of self
E – Exaggerated fears of being unable to care for himself or herself
N – Needs others to assume responsibility for his or her life
D – Difficulty expressing disagreement with others
E – End of a close relationship is the beginning of another relationship
N – Noticeable difficulties in initiating projects or doing things on his or her own
T – “Take care of me” is his or her motto


I think I do suffer from this disorder when I'm with my boyfriend
not because I'm all of the mentioned but a few of them that I keep doing,
because I'd purposely behave like a retard to irritate him.
or maybe its just my way of getting him to sayang me more,
leaving him to do everything.
I think I'm highly dependent on him optionally on weekends hahhahahs
What a pain in the ass girlfriend ! the SUPER Whiner

For those highlighted in red ...
2. I assume he is responsible for major areas in my life
8. I talk cock to him with my sacarstic outcomes
if he doesnt take care of me the way I want him to.
E. More like excessive irritation to ensure I get support for the entertainment I provide
Must laugh at my jokes even if they are not funny and acknowledge them.
P. NONSENSE that I will just cock up sometimes
N. I only need him to assume responsibility, but I'm just trying to be funny.

Last but not least
T. "TAKE CARE OF ME" IS MY MOTTO TO BEN
I'll reach the extend that he will have to feed me every mouth
when the 2 of us have food tgt (which repeatedly irritated him 120%)


Hi ! nice to meet you,
I'm Irritating, and you are ?



♥ murasakiyukiko
9:53 AM




Tuesday, July 29


Yeah I love xiaomin

after slacking at the coffeshop
my butt feels so stuck to the chair or anywhere
but just dont feel like gg to school
hahhas

Caught up with my darlinx
the lovely babe treated me to pepperlunch and ICE CREAM !!!!
yup I'm such a kid
and walked around Marina

I had a very bad nightmare yesterday
not exactly nightmare cos i didnt happened at night
but whatever okay ..
so I was bawling in the dream and I almost cried in reality
I got so scared I ran to find my grandma and she mocked at me -.-
yes my family is filled with irritating ppl.
and darling said "what a baby, that's why you need me to hush hush baby u"
rou ma ya I know...

must be because of Chance n his nightmare thingy he started in the morning -.-



♥ murasakiyukiko
8:47 AM




Sunday, July 27


Pics from thursday ...

my life has been a bore I cant really go out with my fwens cos I'm so broke currently
therefore there's nth much to update hahhas

Drawing on each other's hands

Chance Rocks but his Chance is short of an " N " in jap

Valerie loves akina,chance, yukiko,sebaschan n balerie :)
she's supposed to love me 4ever but akina added NOT
on her the other hand, the NOT from akina as well.
on sebas arm, I wrote " Loves stephanie forever Loving "
on chance
yes I felt like back in secondary school
stupid childish acts of drawing on ppl's hand...
hahhahas but it was fun -.-
Stupid faces at the coffeshop
and the scary ...



♥ murasakiyukiko
11:45 PM




Tuesday, July 22


Some pictures that I took in class that I have yet to upload
my desktop at home is really killing me

Here's lovely Tania with her stupid pocky sticks :)


umglam shot of these 2 best friends


I believe this was taken on Monday
SUPERMan Jonathan


ITS 4 PEOPLE hahahhas poor amirul at the bottom
with jonathan, moon thong and farz at the top.
my crazy classmates hahahhas.



I was bored at the coffeeshop
I made a mini set of clothes with the paper people tear out of the cigarettes box.



Esther's mini magnum


Its a super cute thumbdrive
we couldnt even tell lah,
i was thinking where's the chain for this keychain-like-thingy



And I keep skipping school,
since my grades are there already so I can afford to not come
I just dont feel like coming !



♥ murasakiyukiko
7:32 PM






Its deeper, sweeter, do me more ...



I cant wait for it to be out as the song is already stuck in my head
2 new songs & Best album

目を閉じても消えないFantasy
夢-現実 境目なんて曖昧に
Bass Lineがこの世界では案内人
怪しくてほら煌めくR&Me
迷子のふりしてYou want me more
何度でもFeel that you love me more
お菓子の城でYou wanna give me more、more more ...
Do me more ...

It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more
It's deeper, sweeter, do me more ...



Ironically, there's 21 more days left.

Holidays will start and I can finally take some rest.
BUT Its just a matter of 3 weeks that my W24K will split
so most probably we'll part ways bcos we arent really that strong a class to begin with
not say we are not good together as one ,
but that when I say strong I mean really close clicks.
my class spirit goes up steadily like a curved graph
but it goes down at a much faster speed in the last quater of the semster.
The lovely peeps gave me a pleasant start of my life in Republic Poly
so its kinda sad that we go on separate ways and start all over in making new friends
we have already getting used to everyone's presence, all comfortable with it,
bit by bit we come together but the next thing you know is that its gonna be over.
Remb me talkin about how dead my class was ?
then it seems okay now, so I'm paranoid feeling its like a sweet last goodbye thing
save the best for the last.

ok why am I so emo now ?
Alrites I still have my coffeeshop click and that's comforting to know :)



♥ murasakiyukiko
1:50 PM




Monday, July 21


I'm dying
my whole body is aching bcos its eons from when I last did sports
so after badminton ytd with Ben, Chance & their papa
I'm damn tired since ... ...
I cannot tahan my bf cos he just had to do stupid things
maybe that's why I love this Betard so much -.-




n early in the morning I almost got pulled down the stairs on a bridge
Of all people to pull, sebas, apparently I was nearer so u pick me,
Chance went "And you pull ziqi !? and you pulled ziqi !!?? "
Chance & I was like " so many ppl to pull,you pull the weakest !!!??? "
THANKS ... play some more lah...
hahahhas

And now I'm struggling with stomach pain
even after I ate its not getting better.
I should have taken better care of my body ...
TSK TSK TSK

I will save money !
I mean I NEED TO ...



♥ murasakiyukiko
11:50 AM




Friday, July 18


I love you so dearly.

あなたの笑顔が見える
愛おしくて眩しくて
その笑顔が見たくて
今日も僕は生きてます

あなたの愛を感じる
力強くて温かい
そんな無償の愛情を
全身で感じてます

あなたに夢を見せたい
終わらなくて消えなくて
そんな夢を見て欲しい
それが僕の願いです

あなたを守って行きたい
たとえ何がおきようとも
僕の全てであなたを
守り続けて行きます

I see your smile
that I love so dearly and its dazzling
I'm living every day
to see such a smile

I feel your love
Its strong and warm
I'm feeling this selfless love
With every part of my senses.

I want to show you a dream
I hope you will have
A never-ending and lasting dream
This is my wish.

I want to protect you
Whatever that may happen
I'll give my everything
and go on protecting you ...



♥ murasakiyukiko
10:58 AM




Monday, July 14


犬と私の10の約束
10 promises made to my Dog


1.私と気長につきあってください。
Give me time to understand what you want of me.

2.私を信じてください。それだけで私は幸せです。
Place your trust in me. It's crucial to my well-being.

3.私にも心があることを忘れないでください。
Be aware that however you treat me I'll never forget it.

4.言うことをきかないときは、理由があります。
If I dont obey what you say, I have my reasons.

5.私にたくさん話しかけてください。人の言葉は話せないけど、わかっています。
Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words,
I do understand your voice when it's speaking to me.

6. 私をたたかないで。本気になったら私のほうが強いことを忘れないでください。
Remember before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you,
but that I choose not to bite you.

7.私が年を取っても、仲良くしてください。
Take care of me when I get old.

8.あなたには学校もあるし友だちもいます。でも、私にはあなたしかいません。
You have your school and your friends. But I have only you.

9. 私は10年くらいしか生きられません。だから、できるだけ私と一緒にいてください。
My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. So please make every moment count.

10.私が死ぬとき、お願いです。そばにいてください。そして、どうか覚えていてください。
私がずっとあなたを愛していたことを。
Go with me on difficult journeys. Everything is easier for me if you are there.
Please remember I love you


The movie is eff-ing sweet & sad at the same time.
I admit that I cired like a baby... someone didnt know how to offer tissue properly

恋人と私の10の約束
10 promises to my lover


1. I will be understanding towards you, so please be understanding to me too.

2. Let me be able to place my trust in you and we shall stay faithful to each other.

3. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget.
I will love you the amount you deserve. Karma will get back at you if you fail to treat me good.

4. If we quarrelled or fought, most probably is beacause I care alot for you. I will try to not
be too jealous all the time but I have my limits.

5. Be sensitive towards my feelings.

6.Remember that we are capable of hurting each other. So we'll stay lovingly forever.

7. Do take good care of me, sayang me always.

8. We have our own friends, school/work and entertainment ( DOTA esp)
but dont neglect me just because of them.

9.Talk to me because I'll be here for you to share with me your pain my dear.

10. We will hold each others' hand tightly and always be there for one another.
And I'll always love you.


when I told Ben about My version of 10 promises
he said " that's sweet "
my reply was " You're supposed to obey it."
Not the other way darling hahahhas :)



♥ murasakiyukiko
2:07 PM




Wednesday, July 9


Everything progressed smoothly for yesterday's practical
I'm still here safe and sound wahahahhas
My most feared was to change lane and one retard
made me had no choice but to immediately change lane
because she was facing me and in my lane
so to be exact she's travelling in the wrong lane wrong direction !
heng we were in the circuit and her car was stationery.

I cant wait to get my license. I want to steal my Dad's BM.

I'm still not doing gd,or say up to my expectation in school.
I wanna see more As in my grades !!!

Something is still wrong with me. I dont know what is it.
Rainy cold morning and the dark skies will just make me emo
I just dont feel right. I feel ... weird? awkward? empty?
But I dont know why.
I'm missing my dosage of jokes and entertainment I guess...
I'm not getting what I want ???
I dont even know what I want in the first place ... ...
What's wrong !!!???



♥ murasakiyukiko
2:38 PM




Tuesday, July 8


last night it was fucking hilarious when my dad taught me drving

I dunno to be happy or to be scare now
I'm overjoyed that I cld be behind the steering wheels of a BM
but at the same time cos the functions of the car helped me ALOT
so compared to the cars I'll be drivng at the school
Its like ....
it will not tell me I'm gonna hit the corners when I'm parking, reversing or turning
so I wont be that capable of handling other cars.
SIAN AR
very excited and I'm actually enticipating it
but still still still !
i damn scare when i gan jiong I'll just any how bang the car.
hitting/mounting the kerb is not a prob to me
BUT not when I REVERSE ...
jia lat reverse confirm will kana de.
den the other most hated one is changing lanes,
I REFUSED TO ! Hahahahahas

Anyway, ppl just lack management in their Attitude
If your emotions affects you,
why do you have to go and make other ppl's life miserable as well ?
Dont show me yr that mother fucking face like ppl owe it to you
Yr EQ needs to be improve because your tone of speech is making me sick
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU GUYS !?
I dont know what i have been doin these few weeks in sch la
no mood no mood all the time
I need to buck up !

My life has no meaning,
I'm just drifting through it
Time files, and its already the 4th month.



♥ murasakiyukiko
10:34 AM




Monday, July 7


i scare scare arh !!!
tmr's my first practical
and i still cant figure out what do i need to know about the auto gear and the manual gear

scare scare ...

eversince I'm with Ben I've become a movie-siao liao
2 days we can watch a total of 6 movies
heng ar only 3 that we caught at the cinema if not my ass cant take it

GOOD LUCK TO ME ~ !



♥ murasakiyukiko
5:00 PM




Thursday, July 3


I sometimes secretly wonder if it would be better without you
人知れず辛い道を選ぶ
I think I feel worst when I'm with you
because we cant always be together
eventhough you're my SuperLover...
This is very bad.Very bad.

Moon Crying - Koda Kumi

君とよく歩いた
いつもの道と私
月と歩きながら
悲しいメロディー

あんな颜をさせるつもりじゃなかったの
ただ「好き」なだけなのに
君を悲しませてしまった
あの日の涙

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 
伝えきれない
溢れ出した言叶が届くなら
君を想い 歌いたいよ

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 
伝えきれない
また今夜も思ったことひとつ
今も君を爱してると…

逢えばわがままばかり
ときどき言い过ぎたときも
笑って许した
大人な君で

孤独に思った君に
「気付くことが出来た」なら
「そっと手、差しのべられた」なら
「ぬくもり」も
「これから」も
「ふたりで…」だった?

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 
伝えきれない
溢れ出したまた言叶が届くなら
君を想い 歌いたいよ

あの日に戻れるのならば
これ以上何もいらない
また今夜も思ったことひとつ
今も君を爱してると…

言叶に出来ない想いを
この歌で今伝えたい
溢れ出した気持ちが届くなら
君を想い歌いたいよ

今夜も大空を见上げ
月が照らすその场所へと 
` 大切な人と共に歩きたい
 ずっと ずっと 侧に居たい

繋いだ手を离さないで…

we walked together often
on our usual street
while under the moonlight
a sorrowful melody

i didn't want to show such a face
but its because i just like you
i made you sad
the tears that day

i want to see you but
no matter how i try i can't get my feelings across
if my overflowing words could reach you
i want to sing out my thoughts of you

i want to see you but
no matter how i try i can't get my feelings across
tonight too i am only thinking of one thing
i am still loving you

to meet would be just selfish
when i sometimes talked too much
you just smiled and forgave me
just like an adult

when you were lonely i thought
if i could recognise it
if i reached softly with my hand
your warmth and after this
would we be together?

i want to see you but
no matter how i try i can't get my feelings across
if my overflowing words could reach you
i want to sing out my thoughts of you

if i could return to that day
all these would be no more
tonight too i am only thinking of one thing
i am still loving you

my feelings that can't be put into words
i want to convey them through this song
if my overflowing words could reach you
i want to sing out my thoughts of you

tonight too i'm looking at the sky
towards where the moon is shining
i want to walk there with my important person
forever forever i want to be beside you

please don't let go of my hand that you've been holding tightly...



♥ murasakiyukiko
10:06 PM






For the past 2 weeks, this is what's on my msn nic,

" yukiko-Prisoner Of Love - I wanna go & die ... "

Part of the reason is ;
I dont know but the mood in class is like dying,
I feel like dying too when I fail to brighten up the class
and the every single action I take to make things better
just seems to backfire or worst still, Ignored.
Even my wacky coffeeshop brothers just seem to have something missing in their lives.
What can I do to make things better can someonetell me please?
perhaps what shijie & farz said is right,
its not my fault and I definitelydont deserve to be ignored
just that people are not in the mood to entertain me ...
What's wrong ??? I wish I could help ... ...
what's up with the attitude you ppl have been giving
If you dont get the things you want done, why dont you speak up ?




Where's my pillar of mental sanity, palace of love ?

I'm gonna tell you the truth
人知れず辛い道を選ぶ
私を応援してくれる
あなただけを友と呼ぶ
It's not that we dont have friends to turn to
but we'll selectively turn to the one whom we want to turn to
and I'll definitely turn to you and only you.
Its because I know you'll give me the answer I want,
console and comfort me the way I like.
Isnt this what happens to those who fall in love?
I realise that's when sometimes yr lover can become your bestfriend too
The thing is that ,
its only after you telling me everything will be alright
then will I feel everything's ok .
You can say I'm being ignorant or naive
but I follow my heart and the way I feel
I dont care ...
If it happens to me that at the end of the journey,
I have no one else but me, me , me,
I think my pooh bear is still sitting on her expensive chair in that corner of my room :)


I love you like pooh bear loves honey.


But I'll assure my friends I'll be here for you
when you guys ever need me. I'm always trying to make things better
But I dunno if they'd help and will you appreciate my help...


I miss seeing xiaomin almost everyday.
I miss sentimental talks with michelle in the middle of the night.
I miss spending time with my 2 best girls my darlinx and my dearie.



あなたに愛されたあの日から
自由でもヨユウでも一人じゃ虚しいわ
心を奪われたあの日から
孤独でも辛くても平気だと思えた



♥ murasakiyukiko
11:36 AM




Tuesday, July 1


20 random facts about myself
again tagged by Sebas
and that I got nth better to do in cls so I'm doing this

1. I'm ziqi and ppl do call me yukiko
2. I love Bling Blings
3. When I tell jokes they're SUPER lame
4. & when I dont say jokes, the things I say are very funny
5. I am Da Jie to many of my friends.
6. But I'm also very blur at times.
7. I eat titbits like nobody's business and I can finish alot in a short time.
8. Ironically I cant eat alot of other food.
9. My boyfriend is Benwoon and he thinks I'm stupid.
10. Only my bimbotic friends are qualified to call me a bimbo.
11. If you cant stop laughing, I can cure you.
12. I fan ppl with my eyelashes.
13. My Dad is ten thousand times more irritating than I already am.
14. I have an abusive & psychotic nature.
15. You will perfectly understand why I am the way I am
when you meet my psychotic family members.
16. I am very friendly :)
17. Although I can be very mean if I dont like you.
18. My tongue is poison.
19. I whine n whine and make funny noise
20. I will never fail to make you laugh with my retardedness,randomness n blurness

that's all, I'm not tagging other ppl :)
SI BEI sian !!! I'm starving in class now...

I cant wait for Ben to be back, He's not here to irritate me
and that's actually irritatin me -.-
but his brother with the same voice
who talks like how Ben talks,
has been helpin his Da ge to disturb me during his absence.



♥ murasakiyukiko
11:50 AM