Sunday, January 27

I painfully remembered
how your warm hands put me to sleep
how tired are you
to live pretending as if you have forgotten everything ?

Memories are so hateful
I tell myself that I'm alright everyday
but the tears just keep falling like the rain
You're the only one that didn't know
all these years that we couldn't be together

The loneliness up till now,
Will you know that I'm crying as if I have not won
I feel as if I'm going crazy wanting to see you
But your presence was temporary

I have nothing left
those memories that I dug up and got burn away
left me with emptiness
time is moving fast
just why is it that I cant forget all of these ?

The loneliness up til now,
Will you know that I'm crying as if I have not won
I feel as if I'm going crazy wanting to see you
But your presence was temporary

All the memories that have left me,
Do please come back to me even just once
What should I do?

But I know,
the person that has made it all so miserable for me
is a bad person ... ...


na bbeun sa ram

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:21 AM

Thursday, January 24

I dont wanna listen
I dont wanna hear
because I realise
none of you ever did listen to me
or try hard enough to hear me out

I feel like the only thing I wanna do now is to distance myself from people
I can no longer escape
there;s so much I wanna say to you
but they are all left, right here

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:39 AM

Sunday, January 20

wo xian zai shen xin pi lei !!!
(I'm tired physically & psychologically)

i need support
i feel so empty
i feel like i'm some kinda thin air
that's just like sayin, I'm nothin

I feel so far away from people
Far away from the life I used to have
n I dun really know what's gg on around
no time ?

I am very tired, but I still cannot put myself to sleep
Physically, Psychologically


ARGHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh
YC bring me along on yr bdae !!!!!!
wanna go wanna go
I WANNA GO !!!!

♥ murasakiyukiko

11:38 PM

Saturday, January 12

i felt sad when u seem to be behind time mostly
i felt sad that u have the "i" attitude puttin your concerns infront
i felt sad when u didnt spare a thought for my being
i felt sad that u didnt seem to care about how my feelings
i felt sad that after knowin you for 5 years, at times i still felt u to be like a stranger

Please listen to what I have to say,
look out if there's more than what I've said
I am always smiling but do you ever feel the pain inside me ?
I put up a front to be so uncaring but just like all of you
I have my sadness and sorrow too
behind my ever bubbly character, I'm actually weaker than anyone of you

Would you care for me a little more ?
Would you spare some time more ?
All these i'd only want you to know...



If I were to let you know me all over again
I'd let you know that I have feelings too
and deep inside I'm as fragile as you

♥ murasakiyukiko

8:58 PM

Monday, January 7

so here i'll saying ....

its the start of the week ..

and I know it will be a very busy one cos i'll be workin my ass off

but its ok ...

" duo lao duo shou "

which is very gd when u come to think of the end product :)

I'll be stuck at Far East level 3 n seriously I'll be bothering Lauren like MAD

yea LIKE MAD ... i hope she dont find me too annoying

maybe she alrdy does wahahhahhas !!!

Also I'm thinkin of gettin my nails done

as its been ten thousand years since I last " BLING-arize " it

so yah.. wanna get them extended and super many blings on them

I miss my super long nails SOOOOOOOoooooooooo MUCH !

BUT ! But!! but !!! i dunno when i have the money or get my pay -.-

I MISS U !!!!!

lastly... I HATE to say BUT i HAVE to say

why must ppl foolishly tag/call/ and what have u ppl anonymously?

I mean that yr life suck so bad n u feel miserable

or that yr parents hates u so much

that they name u Tan Ah Gou? Lim Ah Niao that kinda thing

so you dont have a name or wish to identify yrself ??

I mean like get a life

and stop behaving like a great loser behind yr computer screen can !?

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:14 AM

Sunday, January 6

I cried ...
she finally admitted n confirmed that she has lost her hearin in hte left ear
yes Ayu lost half her hearing...
while back in 2004 year end.. i think it was in the Super Interview
we were shock to hear that she actually lost her hearin temporarily in 2000
when she was performin her DOME TOUR
i was like ... THEN SHE PUSH HERSELF THROUGH THE CONCERT LIKE NTH ???
she's one SIAO J-POP QUEEN !!!

i felt really sad.. cos now, the thing is that
in her TeamAyu msg, she herself confirmed that her left ear is beyond repair
i'm sad, though she will not quit her career,
but yah.. her small boday has to go through such pain
indeed, " lau tian shi gong ping de "
he wont give many things, mayb now mayb in the future
but he'll not forget to take sth else away from you.

AYU !!!!!!!!
mou DAIJOUBU YO NE !!!

currently workin 2 jobs
one at far east level 3 n another at suntec level 3 -.-
I NEED MONEY !!!!
while xin ku also bo bian... wat to do???
think will be workin more in far east until the boss come back from overseas ...
so peeps I'll be very busy these 2 weeks
I think ?

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:05 AM

Saturday, January 5

2 guys really made my day today ...

i was out with xue er n her fwens shuyin n ayami
so we were at kinokuniya
den there was this guy with 2 books
sth to do with girls n guys
at first i thought he was a sales person
den he wanted to ask the 3 of us who were sittin down for our opinion
cos he wanted to get a book for his female fwen

i seriously thought he wanted my opinion ...
then until he started askin watever bla bla bla
" the guys wont listen, women cant read a map" what i think of that
i was thinkin of jun kai n samuel lah.. they're guys but they talk alot too wat..
mayb becos i hang out with my bros alot so they find it easier to talk to me
the kino boy ( wat xue er calls him) took ten years to understand my " boyish "
my ang moh got that horrible meh ????????
& asked if i drive(some parallel parkin thin which my aunt sucks at),
club? smoke? which sch ... ... .... ........ ( I THAT OLD ARH?)
the rest of the time i really wasnt listenin
the 2 den siam from my side, not even botherin to save me
in the end i think I THINK what he wanted to was to ask my no. n msn -.-
we 4 girls left kino laughin n thinkin that it was very LAN of that guy
to have such a kind of pick up line
HOWEVER i seriously DONT MIND THAT
read on n u'll noe ....

there's this another fucker whom i have blogged about b4
he keeps callin n askin where am i, wat i'm doin, free anot can be fwens ???
askin 10 000 calls he stil aint got the balls to tell me
who the fuck is he ...
I SERIOUSLY HATE THIS KIND OF GUYS
this one apparently haressed me from july07 til now noe !!??
he called so many times n i noe shit bout him
i get very angry everytime after he calls
n he's seriously testin my patience ...

i meant he can be more lyk that kino noy
LIKE COME SAY IT TO MY FACE STRAIGHT
n not hide lyk some coward .. no balls no balls ....
cant u be brave n straightforward ???
sucker ..............

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:06 AM

Wednesday, January 2

Hello 2008 !!!
Koichi-sama tanjobi omedeto !!!

1st Jan is not only New Year's Day but also Koichi Ojisama's birthday
happy 29th !! ( and also one of my bright cousin's bdae too)

went out with xiaomin to town today
abit sian sian, like there's nothin much to walk, to see
its all the sales items now, n most of the better ones have been grabbed
so I merely bought things that I'll buy every year ...

I cant live without an organizer n I missed doodlin on my HSC diary
I'll write all my nonsense inside in watever language I myself understand ^0^
every girls' favourite ... Hello Kitty
a display set but it was the last piece and NO MORE so, what to do ???



everytime i get a new diary/organizer of calender
i just cant wait to write in all the birthdays
Feb is a MUST BE BROKE month cos as u can see..
everyone just wanna be born in that month
or is it just the important ppl around me that cant help to be born in that month ??



my 2 digit princess mechanical pencil from disneyland... -.- *HEARTPAIN*
xiaomin has got one too.. exact same

bought a desk calender cos i cant live w/o one too
notice my PRINCESS tissue paper??
i bought 3 boxes of them from wastons with xue er on sat or sun ??
haix memory loss ... ...


another calender i " kope" from a disneyland brochure


my 2008 table look


extra pics that my aunt developed for me,
i bought a pair of new sicssors too... lame but i i threw away the old one
cos it was sticky from all the price tag stickers n scotch tape i had been cuttin

i saw someone doin this on the Jan's issue of Vivi
so i did the same to make my boots stand up n not "sag"
but its kind scary when i catch a glimsp of it at night
i thought i saw someone's leg den to realise i made it stand up like that

it looks much nicer n neater this way.. n i like it ^_^


Finally 2008 resolution ...

1. I will be a nicer, better person and not be as hurtful n straightforward with my words

all of you know that my tongue is poison n I seriousl think that I shld
stop behaving like this bcos it is very " que de "(lackin of good deeds ??)
I haven been nice to the ppl around me eventhough u beautiful peeps know
that i'm just jokin (cos i cant stop jokin) but it is indeed very mean of me ... ...

2. I will work harder towards MY GOAL

3. I will start saving money.. ALOT OF MONEY

4. I will study hard

5. I will also play hard n enjoy life

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:50 AM