Wednesday, October 26

never had i thought of who i'll lurve
never had i thought of who i'll b depressed ferr
never had i thought of it being rite or wrong

my eyes are now filled wit tireness
i alwaes feel tired facin myself

i nid some1 by my side too
some1 who wont break my heart
some1 i'll lurve wit no regrets

iim not reali lyk wat dey sae
all covered wit thorns
and hard to console

why dont i have the rights to shed tears animore?

embracin loneliness to sleep evrynite
life has become sho meaninless

my trueness juz cant b felt by anione
there arent much ppl lyk mii left
yet why do u still make mii sad?

juz look at the tears comin down the side of my eyes
there isnt much difference between euu n mii
its juz tt my heart ish more fragile

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

juz wat am i doin?
i myself do not noe...
who reali noe emself honestly ?

haiz

its just emotions takin mii over..
part of my sorrow lost in a song...

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:33 PM

Monday, October 24

peng... dearie why arent ya wit mii last nite?
nvm ...

hiax

i nid ya shOO0oooo muCh sia

♥ murasakiyukiko

8:43 AM

Friday, October 21

damn wasted
shldnt had off my hp
why can i have sum common sense?
iim reali toopid
now i noe
n now i admit

wah piang...

haix dunno watta sae bout myself lahx
onli tt i can try to b smarter
got dearie ta fetch moi home
den went shoppin wit dearie tadae
bought a few new stuffs...
not alot though...
as compared lahx
wahhahs
aniwae next few daes gonna go out
so cant spend too much oso

n i nid $70
onli fer enterence fee!?
haix...
though its easier ferr mi ta get $$
but must have self control...
sounds weird horx?
lyk mii tryin ta discipline moiself!?
but 4D quickly...confirm stirke de...
LOLx
come back frm beijing den sae bahx
hu ask miiself sho de clever
off my hp...

haix
toopid lahx

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:24 PM

Wednesday, October 19

181005
had a bad dae...
think can sae so bahx...

haix.. din feel lyk goin fer tt dumb paper.. bullsh*t onli
my eyes werent fully opened at all when i reach sch
den ms teo's talkin..
haix... (* . ; )
aftr it was tt dunno wat toopid session fer eng de...
haix.. let mii go lahx.. wat's ya prob?
though its not mostly targeted at my cls or anithin
its lyk wastin most of da level's time... i bet so i tell euu

din make it.. though its not de overall
my mood wasnt gd alrdy... it merely made thins worst..
made mii stayed fer lyk xtra 2 hrs!?
dunno wat to sae...

felt real bad... michelle's 'too bad' frm her msg reali made mii worked up
i noe its jux a casual comment lyk wat i alwaes say but it din came at da rite time...
fuckin pissed...
i reachedhome and throw myself into bed..
din wanna think too much bout the problems so...
lyk my usual habit
tryin to escape reality
cos i dun wanna take it
n i refuse to face it
then off to my dreamland...

den dun bother.. cos i dun mind n u dont matter
or shld i sae: cos it doesnt matter...

woke up by brother..Chance's msg.. askin to go out as a cls
at least tt cheered mii up a lil.. thnx bro..
PLAY!!

but then again... iim feelin low..
dunno why iim feelin sho these few daes..
wat to do
called him but damn fuckin hell he's nt home

mother fucker... iim so0O lyk in nid of him...
watever...

ya.. wat's my problem rite
i dunno too
pms maybe

can some1 jux shoot mii
cos i feel lyk dyin now..

♥ murasakiyukiko

3:12 PM

Monday, October 17

i woke up in da middle of the nite
almost went into tears and cried
i dunno why mayb it was becos the thins tt i saw n thought about

i was thinkin bout last nite
wat added to the tears tt were on the verge of fallin was that dream
i looked up at the midnight sky
so that the tears wont b able to fall
just why is it so that all i think bout ish sorrow through life??

i thought about wat i cldnt get
da kinda family love
that i'll alwaes be deprived of
cos it doesnt happen overnite
once its not there it nv will
and those words came right back to mii
'ZQ ya deprived, cos if ya not, u wont think tt LOVE HURTS LIFE SUCKS'
now tt i realised
its true then

but i'll learn to stand strong
even if i have to do it one my own
its not lyk i nv done it b4

that time.. dawn was comin real soon
memories then came floodin back
i tried very hard ta get back to sleep

in da morni i thought of her
i missed the fun i had wit her
but why is it onli until aftr so long ?

then XE came to muah hse
at least wit someone by my side it will keep my thougts frm runnin wild again




still its somethin tat i cant have

can some1 tell mii somedae i'll b able to get wat i wan
take the pain off me
rescue mii frm my misery

(*. ;)

♥ murasakiyukiko

11:14 AM

Sunday, October 16

151005
woke up by XE's msg....
asked mii wanna go out not...
i oso not sure.. cos shld b goin out wit brother...

woke up not long den went out... goin ferr movie marathon
wahahax...
watched skeleton key :: sux :: and corpsebride
intended to watched another 1 actualli...
but ish lyk siaOW
den went to bro's hse wit WD too ta play n hav dinner...
den we sat altogether wit bro's family ta eat
awkward though// luckily his family were reali funny n nice ppl
WD tryin to make mii paisei by tellin bro's family tt iim JW..
pls lahx.. iim short but not tt short kaex
hahahs...
envious of bro sia... i nv felt tis wae... how i wish...
but it can never b da same ferr mii.. cos tis kinda thin doesnt happen overnite..
da kind of famlily relationship tat i nv had n wil nv have...
da kinda love tt iim deprive of... once its not ther it nv will
da kind of evrythin frm a family tt i dun haf

yesh... iim deprived
now tt i realised..
and then again... those words
' ZQ y'r deprived, cos if uRe not... u wont think tat LOVE HURTS LIFE SUCKS'
pieces of my broken dream stab into my heart
leavin an unforgetable pain and permanent scar
but why ?

because of you...

♥ murasakiyukiko

4:31 PM

Saturday, October 15

finally all my miseries are gone...
i have waited ferr tis dae so long...
didnt noe how my life turns so fast
rembering all da thins frm da past...

okies i'll be doin alot of thins now...
gotta go out and have fun b4 my mood starts to disappear...
cos sooner or later i'll be in deep shit
we all noe why.. do we have to sae more??
todae's both paper sucks...
gonna teo kan liaox

ferr da time bein all be havin fun instd
wahhas...live life to da fullest!!

went to walk around wit jessica at tm n centry
nth much but its loooooo000OOng since i last went shoppin
promised XE to go out wit her.. think next week bahz
den tmr wathcin movie...
waitin ferr dearie to b free... tt dae shou hao le ritex?
will be goin to same old bugis... *memories comin back to miiHIM*

haix...
but ta still got alot of thins waitin fer mii to do worx...
though its supposed to be my rest n relax timin
luckily da thins are more enjoyable... wahhahs

and life goes on....

♥ murasakiyukiko

12:47 PM

Wednesday, October 12

exam week...
study study study...

i'll be dead soon... in tis world there's nth much ferr mii to treasure
iim under all da misery n sufferings of exams!

few daes ago... or was it weeks...
am i reali wrong 2 sae n feel those words...
no strong feelins here buta.. juz tt those words kept lingering in my mind...
i noe deep inside iim deprived... dun tell mii tat cos i dun wanna b reminded of it ...

love hurts...life sucks....

ppl disagree wit mii but i dont care.. iim juz wonderin y do i feel da same aftr so long? mayb more of da life sux part...
life is juz so complicated... ware did i come frm n where shld i go?
i have nowhere to hide those soRrows n i dont belong aniware...
i cant stay lyk a 3 yr old gal knowin onli how to cry at heartbreaks
eventhough i wan to... dis ugly world wont tear me apart but
i cant behave lyk i lil gal all da time... just how i wish too...
ignorin all de ugliness

someday i'll noe and someday i will..

i dun even lurve myself so how can i afford to luv u?

♥ murasakiyukiko

4:41 AM

Tuesday, October 4

wahahas
todae ish such great fun!!
i think i'd spent all my tum in sch laughin...hahs
though it was a lil rushy in the mornin
cos sum how my alarm din ring...
lucky my darlinx msged me
whewx... but it was lyk sia liao choing ahx!

den i in sch i was wonderin why assembly bcame so quiet...
usually we wld lotsa noise... den i realised durin geog...
cos JW n YH was at da back... so lesser ppl to crap around wit me le...
den these 2 guys aRhs.. dey r reali drivin me crazy kaex...
i din close my mouth durin geog los..
cos i was laughin all da while!!!
da crap lyk damn lots n its really hilarious...
wahhahs...

aftr recess... chance n shihao's turn sia...
makin almost half da cls laughin lyk siao
my stomach cramp n i thought i may die of laughter on da spot...
b4 dey did so... i was bullyin de 2 of em.. as usual..
i was bein unreasonable lahx... full of crap...
0oOpS! sry brother... broke yr ruler again...
but its ok lahx hor.. tis one cheaper...
cos da previous one was a curve ruler!?
wahhas...

todae's da 3rd le yae....

...+ baby i lurve u and i'll nv let u go
but if i have to boi i think tt u shld noe...
all da luv we make can nv be erase
and I'll pRomise u tt u will NevEr b RepLaCe+...

boi its s0Oo nice ta have ya by my side...

** if i cld fly lyk a bird
i wld reach to u
i'll offer my wings to yr wounded back
n stay forever by yr side**

i hope tat yrs words are true
n yr feelings real...

Cos my fragile heart cant afford another heartbreak animore
makin my life happier
makin my life s0Oo muCh brighter
though uRe not alwaes by my side
but no matter wat soRrow overcomes mii
yr tender smile will assure mii everythin's alrite
in yr aRms i fEel all da comFort...

L0vE...LuV...LuRvE...

♥ murasakiyukiko

10:28 AM

Saturday, October 1

iim sho sick n tired of ppl askin me y this y tt...
ok mayb its bcos u care...
but if it is so tt after askin it juz serves as a satisfaction to yr curiousity onli...
in other words uRe juz k-p-o-ing den
DONT ASK !!!

dun u c tt though those thins are over but the tok bout it breaks me down easily n
the wound tat has healed a lil onli recently will start to shed tears n ache again???
u dont realise tt did u ?
cos i nv wanted to make a big fuss bout this shit n juz keep em to myself...

yr words are poison n yR tongue's evil...
wat bout u ?
@&$!!^**#@

dun come and bother me wit stupid questions...
n all da coversations is all sbout y this y wat hows this how tt...
i reali get piss by all this shit ppl are givin me...
if u wanna help den do so n do ask y and thank u veri much...
if u cant gif a damn shit bout helpin den shut yr bloody trap n fcuk off...

i hate ppl to question me...
sae iim unreasonable or watevr but do u thin i care?
try me again n i'll gib euu a tight slap on yr irritain face...

hey ppl out ther... aftr readin tis dun come callin me or askin me hu iim tokin bout or ask me anithin regardin this entry.... i'll hang up on u den slap u da veri next tum i c u...

iim serious... try me...
u'll regret...

♥ murasakiyukiko

5:46 AM