Wednesday, July 27

haiz sad.. tt nite i was writin blog went my internet got disconnected... wat sia.. den e service provider said my modem was faulty when its so brand new... wtf..
i wont get to use net liao lahz... kau eh...

it rained tis mornin... sia la got soaked like dunno wat.... my shoes onli la though i took cab to sch begining to appreciate my dad even more le..

sian...

♥ murasakiyukiko

8:35 AM

Saturday, July 23

woke up late today... had daddy to call and make sure i woke up.. haiz..reluctant to go to school...

daddy's goin to shanghai tonight liao.. sad... nv bring me go.. so tt i dun nid to go to school.. heeheex.. gonna go to sch wit michelle n my darlinx early in the morn liao... I cant wait for him to b back!!! cos he promised to buy me LV wallet..hahahas...

lessons was alrite... durin chemistry when the bell jus went... mr yap was testin out his song dedication robot ...evryone got distracted urgin to take alook lol.. den ms lee was lyk gimme 30secs...ha den SL commented.. wa lau recess liao rite!? den she started countin away.. retarded..

after sch stayed back to help out in the charity walk thingy..nth to do oso den juz stay ferr fun los.. daddy den called... said tt he's leavin le... haiz.. sunddenly very sad lo.. n I'm reali gonna miss him kaex..not bcos he's buyin LV wallet den I miss him de hor! hiaz.. sad...

someone peng when i sad i miss my dad... y cant i miss him!? I'm a daddy's gal cant not arhx...

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:57 PM

Friday, July 22

seems lyk i cant write my blog in a relax manner.. I'm lyk alwaes rushin it ferr some one the los
hor?

... didnt feel lyk wakin up tis mornin.. as usual de la... called THE OTHER lil boi.. cauz he might not wake up... while i was in a serious discussion wit my dad 2 ppl called.. my dearie called but its ok.. the other wld onli piss me off.. my dad's gonna b away... to shanghai... n its a serious threat to my source of money.. N i had to wake up veri early to go to sch without him sendin moi to sch... daddy dearest tok to me bout BGR.. diaox.. he says "dun have a BF now la.. its not gd study first.. I noe it liao la... " implyin tat i cant hide thins frm him...
anyway he cant do much bout it... asked me wat i wan him to buy ferr me ther.. haiz.. gd que.. i oso dunno.. but by tmr mornin i must tell him..cos he's leavin tmr nite... gonna miss him...

hope tt i'll b able to wake up in time ferr sch 4 next week...

in sch....
early morn got SL meetin... dun feel lyk goin fer the camp.. but haiz..
i was enjoyin mr yap's story when the ball rang at 1.40.. it meant tat we had to leave fer e field trip... i didnt noe ware the hell we were goin til i reached ther... fun exhibition though.. went back to sch to help out wit charity walk stuff.. n den sianx... went home alone.. actually michelle might pei me de but i called her too late lol.. she's wit her fwens liao but its ok de...

haha... tks kaex dearie.. u had to come al e way frm simei to pasir ris jux to send me home...
lurve ya....

tis ish fer euu colin... coz u just got ppl to ask me not to hate u.... lucky boi... i dont hate u le lahz... but doesnt mean i forgive u heeheex... I'm still waitin ferr my lolipop lehx.. hahahas

♥ murasakiyukiko

11:39 AM

Thursday, July 21

i was lyk waitin ferr the bell to go all the time... durin evry period sum more!!!!
but nvm.. at least i didnt wanted chinese lesson to end... but still haiz..

den michelle came to fetch me after sch...
she specially kept her bun tat she made from f&n to give me... quite nice but not very high standard lahz.. hahahas.. kiddin.. at least she noes how to cook... heeheex

i went to walk round centry wit chelle oso...but same old thin..so sians lo
i was disturbed when someone went to his fwens hse to watch movie... but wat can i do aniway??
went home to use com.. stupid song tat just wldnt let me change it into mp3 format... wtf..

i was juz sleepin den got disturbed again... ask me to tag along to a fwen's hse den I go los...
down there so sian somemore...
but u 2 watch out... Jeremy Teo Jie Min and Colin Ng Ju Xiang... u noe wat u guys did!
I'll NEVER EVER FORGIVE THE TWO OF YOU MY ENTIRE LIFE...

but I'm not angry.. i wont dislike u (COLIN)
cos I HATE YOU
wat happens in the future i dun assure u...whether tat i hate u still...
too bad.. cry los.. ferr all i care
i wont trust u liao...

JEREMY TEO JIE MIN u'll b dead meat soon...

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:26 PM

Wednesday, July 20

bit borin lahz... but everytime e the end of the dae sure will have somthin fun happen de..
it ish jus so cos tat sch life is reali borin...

pe is fun todae.. SOCCER!! but y is it i kena ramm all the time de... but not bad as to start of game onli got hit by SL... not me la.. but routine de la.. soccer wat... wat can we do ne? after 2 weeks.. my right leg finally got injuried...not by dyn le.. its by the impact tis time round.. pain sia.. a lil swollen after tat.. but ok right now liao...

supposed to have programme de but due to the weather its bein cancel.. to which dae i dunno..
ani way i wasnt tat interested in the event... * typical slacker*
thought tat after e thingy can go home wit michelle cos she'll send me home but ta.. i released too early le.. wtf lol.. evrytime go home alone.. now XM oso not very free cauz evrytime got cca.. in which she doesnt lyk too much oso.. hahas.. humphx.. pKc oso all go where liao.. jess ish die oso must go home de..dunno do wat... den my di dunno got wat bio thingy on... so in the end still no one wit me!!!!!den too bad ferr me lo.. took cab home alone... lonely... lonely...

hell la.. maths.. dun understand a single thin los.. den teacher ask me I ok not? implyin tat whether I'm still in the depress state...
Mel oso ask y do i have a veri depress expression all the time... I oso dunno.. so long I'm in sch I not very happy le.. mayb its maths lahx I juz cldnt smile la.. or at least durin the break tat ms teo give lol... haiz wat to do ne? still got alot of things undone sia...

took my nap... finally some rest... dunno y the lil boi wathcin movie durin he's volleyball trainin.. by right la traini.. weird weird... who cares aniway.. tired la juz tired...

met my lil boi.. i oso dunno how we spent time de... ish lyk the tum we're together ish not enough.. time seems to pass by veri quickly... i wonder how it will be lyk to spent 24 hrs wit him.. onli him.. juz the 2 of us... Hahas on 2nd thoughts..its scary lahx.. better not better not..

but its not i dun wanna spent time wit kaex darlinx!!!
me too wanna spent more time wit u.. no nid to be 24hrs * bein sacarstic *
juz tat we 2 too busy liao...
n our timin lyk crash sia.. haiz... sad...

cant meet u tat often liao.. sad..

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:09 PM

Tuesday, July 19

fun dae...
disturbed pKc's boiis lyk siao.. highlighted KH's shirt..drew on EM's calculator as well as their hands... hahas ...sorri la my brothers...
I'm juz tryin to lighten up yr dae wit laughter..

...-[pKc]-...
angry wit TianY los... dun wanna go wit us juz sae lahx not lyk we forcin eUu to go rite.. y must show us* SL,KH & me* tis kind of attitude?
nvm.. i not as angry as SL ish.. so go apologise to her...if u happen to c tis..
anyway.. the 3 of us had a meal at mac... we were jus talkin...
lookin back too.. SL said.. pKc has drifted apart sooo much.. we werent as close as we were back in those days.. e june holidays changed alot of thins..
lyk between me n ling.. i wanna sae i'm sorrie k
n pKc surely hasnt been together le...
wat SL said was rite... if we had been together in june holidays den pKc wld have spent tis noon chiong-ing at OUR house le... do u guys still remb?all those stuff..
but y izit so tt we cant come together n do gd things ferr now?

...`>{:mani mani thoughts:}<`...
den .. along the way.. we came to realise somethins bout growin up.. may b its the thns we've been tat puts us into our thoughts... wo men cheng shou le...
mani others tt we have realised..
tat's y we are now gKc...

nvm.. jus thinkin bout wat my bio teacher said... i wish to go back to e sec3 camp 2005.. our cls was so enthu los..but wat had all happen? dun wish to question n dun wish to noe...

haiz..got eng tuition... but had fun down therrr.. met a haisian.. until now den i noe her presence.. ooops... den met xueqi's fwen.. 4gotten her name but i remb her frm the chalet... tt was 2 years back?think so...

anyway met my darlinx after tat... den he bought the WRONG lolipop los... goon.. but nvm he buy one i'll lyk.. e 1st n 2nd time can get it right den 3rd tum got wrong... diaox...
k la my darlinx ish nice enough to me le.. alwaes controllin his temper ferr moi..ta han me to slap him everytime... if its other tt person hu did e same as i did... he or she wld have been dead by now i guess?

made him wore my hairclip... veri ADORABLE los... luckily i managed to take a shot..
heex...
luRVe yA!....

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:54 PM

Monday, July 18

sad... today ish sundae..haiz tmr nid to go back to freakin sch days le...

didnt pei chelle eat breakfast sori la... erytum my grandparents will buy fer me mahx...
my dearie sista go church...lesser ppl to tok to moi le..n i jus wanna tell her tat
I"M NOT A FLOODER !!!
ytd did tat to piss chelle off onli.. hahas i wont do tat again liao la unless she complain n complain bout it again los
sori la i oso wont scratch the lift wall le... heeheex..
N i DUN LIKE yamamura sadako...
u can ask her to stay in tat pathetic well of hers for as long as i care..
hahhahas...
took neoprint wit chelle oso... its nice los thinkin of pasting it on my mp3...arhx dunno la...or i wanna put my darlinx photo..heex dun sae i zhong se qing you
i might not paste anithin too...

thought michelle veri sad or stil thinkin over the matter...den she tell me she's was onli reflectin..scare the hell outta moi saay...wat onli sia... nvm
at least after tat she noe i care n say she's veri touch ... not bad not bad..

stayed at home the whole noon watchin mvs and readin blog by others tat was written hundred over years ago de... and i was juz thinkin...
how did i manage through all the pain n sorrow....
i read XM's past entries from dunno ware de...
den i came to realise ITS OVER...FINALLY OVER

the past ish the past... I'm jus thinkin... how did I managed to walk through the storm...
to be broken apart by HIM... den by my family...lil thins wit fwens...my studies...

yes i've been torn apart but tat's the reason I'm stronger now...evryone has their dark past
which dey do not wan to talk about...mayb tis will b mine.. another small part of my story...
jus lookon back..jus lookin back...

stuck in my own fantasy n unable to move on...unable to express... no one lend me a helpin hand... i had to crawl out of the dark on my own... juz lyk how I'm suppose to live alone in tis world? all alone? I question myself....

ppl around did care but there's nth much they cld do...
"dont take it too hard","are u ok?"
now when i look back... their lil effort comforts me...
thanks to those...at least u guys make me feel better...
though i still nid to survive by myself...
n thanks to ms teo ferr listenin to my cries..
n i mean cry....
yes... cry...
N ms sim ferr listenin to me
but there is still alot i jus couldnt sae out...

but now... the wound has stop sheddin tears.. the pain is no longer there cos I'm numb
I'm fake.. I'm not the gal i used to be... or is tis the real me den?
but the scar will stay with me leavin an unforgettable memory in my chest...

hahahas... how foolish was all those stuff man...

i dunno wat i wan now... i dunno wat i nid now..
wat i have i may juz hold on tight without noein the reason y I'm holdin on to HIM...
wat am i doin?
i suck... wat a slut i am...
ha.....I'm thinkin too much...

some goon lil boi tryin to piss me off... n I almost shouted " COLIN stop pissin me"
sori darlinx... sori darlinx
kept askin me y tis y tat... irritatin sia
i hate it ALOT when ppl ask me ques repeatly....
dun blame me ferr slappin u kaex... u ask ferr it...
but i dun be so bad... sorrie sorrie kkz?

i owe u alot of apologies sia...
tis time is for showin u attitude over da phone...
n cos of me u nid to eat yr dinner quite late...

n i kept writtin my blog..knowin tat some lil boi waitin 4 me to b done wit my hw n tis so tt he can call me n den go to bed... but i'm still writtin!!!
heeheex...my darlin bought me lolipop again..he shld have buy the right one... ai ya he will anyway..lolx...

i jus wan u to noe... u're the reason i'm happy wit my life now n tat I've walked out of the misery becos u're wit me... so stay by my side lyk wat u've been doin... kkz?

i love ya lyk how i lurve myself
n becos it is so i cant stop myself frm lovin u
as i am unable to not luv myself...

if ther is anithin i cld give u
it wld b my everlastin love
yes n I'll always b here...

ya noe?

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:40 PM

specially to u

my dearest sista...... michelle

sori...
the past ish the past
i do hope i can do somethin ferr eUu

after readin yr blog den i realise
i didnt noe u took it tat hard...
sorie...sorie..
i'll do anythin tt i can to erase tt furkin basket frm ya hurtful memory ferr u kkz...?

i wanna be inside yr HEAVEN
take me to the place u cry frm
when the storm goes yr way
i wanna b the earth to hold u
every bit of air u're breathin in
a soothin wind
i wanna be inside yr heaven

when minutes turns into daes n years
when mountains fall I'll stil be here
holdin u til the day I die
N i wanna be inside yr heaven
take me to the place u cry from
when the storm blows yr way.....

lEt mE be the arm to hold U...

luv ish great thin to cure
love can b hurtful at the same time
we all nid tat



but truth ish
lurve ish often not ther when we nid it the most




we onli see the part in our life tat WE TINK we re sufferin but it may not b so
some ppl's life r the the most wonderful bcos of the way dey think of it
so dearie sista... i noe somethins cant b changed but look around
try to take thins from another angle....

things will change ferr the better...
u noe wat I've been through
but u noe Im happy now....

if onli i cld turn back time
if onli i had said wat i still hide
if onli i cld turn back time
I wld stay ferr the nite
ferr the night.....

dun leave beh!nd any regrets cos every moment you are leavin through now

wont come back to u anymore...

♥ murasakiyukiko

3:33 AM

Sunday, July 17

.... .... ...
s0mEoNE aSK mE t write bout him
....k la... if he dun ask me i'll still write bout him

kkz michelle dearie feelin better le...
got back her mood to smile..
dearie juz wanna tell u tt it takes 2 hands to clap
if the other party ish unwillin to accept yr goodness between ya friendship den sometimes u have to learnt to let go... or mayb its jus tt u nid to understand each other mooore...
time heals the wound..but not all at least time will keep it frm bleedin TEARS kkx...

pissed someone off by makin him guess wat diff tt in me...
took him bout 1/2 an hour
hahas... sori darlinx
n the thin ish onli tt i change my partin...
hahas.. ish lyk his goon til cant ans a simple ques... no la not observant enough nia...

but of all thins he guess tat i PERM my hair when the whole world knew i just REBORN my hair
pro sia... u can b better la hor?

heeheex

dunno wat to sae bout him la..
tis lil boy of mine...
haiz..
luRve yA....

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:54 PM

Saturday, July 16

waaaa...
f!nALLy iTs FRIDAY...yuuu whuuu!!!
as LoNg giMMe a bReAk fRoM sCho0L I'm bEry haPPIE le.. hEeheEx
tYpicAL sLacKeR...

jUz wAnnA aSsuRe u... +mY dEaRie siStA+ eVRythIng's goNna bE aLriGht kKz..
I'll sTill be HeRE..h0LDIn eUu tiL u gR0w sTronGer n d0Nt niD me aNim0Re kkz dearie?
jUst rEach out n u"ll c mE right b4 u...

soRi hor..didnt pei u today...
thAnks for be!ng wit me k
though I'm the onE Hu cant mEet yA moSt oF tHe t!me
haHa... luRvE yA!

...+>sMiLex<+...

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:56 PM

Friday, July 15

juz e routine borin dae...
the usual stuffs tat make me sick of my lifestyle sometimes but not tat bad la...

haiz...even more sian when someone's phone got confiscated..aniway he rich enough to hav spare phone n card...diaox...yawnx...
I MISS YOU...
ya noe hu u re la hor...

must catch more sleep...dyin liao...
unwell...

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:21 PM

Wednesday, July 13

had a loooong dae in sch... cos I waited ferr some lil boy to finish his stuffs...
it WASNT very long though... i merely waited for 2 HOURS la hor...

went ta for counsellin session... i kinda enjoy talkin to my counsellor miss sim...
she makes me feel assured tat evrythin's gonna b alright..
and tat... it is jus the simple things in life to make me feel better..

she made me realise tt i dun have to b wat i'm lyk in the past n tat it ish perfectly fine..
sometimes i just nid to let go...even if I try ta make things work it out...doesnt meant tat the other parnter is willin to accept n to noe wat changes I've done to my life for her...

i dunno wat to do... n i dunno wat to sae..I dun wished to b questioned again n again but its juz life..We hav to go through it but not evryone noes how i feel inside tis pathetic soul of mine...Caus i dunno how to express tis kind of irony tat i'm feelin..n to put my most inner feelins into words..

♥ murasakiyukiko

8:24 PM

arggh!!!!
not enough sleep..felt lyk sleepin in evry cls til end of the day...
wheeew managed to survive through maths lesson...played soccer today...kana by dyn again.. same leg summore: u gd: humphx aniwae she's e best goalkeeper los..
shld have seen how she play..hahas.. keeper can oso own goal..:)

quite free aftersch.. still got tyme to go walk around wit classmates.. which i've not been doin so ferr sumtime le...dunno wanna do wat for sean.. cauz tmr his bdae.. must find ways to disturb him..heeheex

tired arhx... must get some rest gonna fall sick or i think i alrdy am..
better still dun nid go sch.. best sia..

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:31 AM

Tuesday, July 12

`sian sia`
go back to sch..monday blues...my cls changed sittin arrangement liao
shit still sittin right infront sucks la....juz got money den lyk broke again...

+someone still shouted at me when its his fault+lil boi ya gd
den nv send me home summore>k la noe u got somethin on<
got stupid english tuition...but fun down there any way...
kau eh my dad will b away.. nid go sch myself...shld b got ppl pei me bahx...
heex...

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:18 PM

Monday, July 11

fun day today..had my .:"+best fwens+':. come over n help moi load thangs...
dunno y felt lyk pukin' so mani times today..sHLd be alright...
reali pissed off by my aunt sia..suddenly so bitchy to me lors...worst ish bitchy to MY BEST FWENS los...wtf...

den my dearest darlinx veri e idiotic HOR?... made his memory STUCK in my cpu! pro sia...
aniway wit smart ppl lyk me... easy job to take it out... hahaha

haHAs... aniway other den tat now I'm a veri contented person....rEaLi... nOW...
I'm happy... reali...
outa the way i used to think
tat lurve hurts n Life sucks...

things actually DO change for the better...
juz wait n see...
tat's wat i wanna believe...

if its a lie
den i'll choose to live in tis fantasy

but my aunt movin to stay wit mE s!a
lossin my freedom soon..even my dEarEst daDdy dun dare to say watever she said to me lor..
den she lil bit not happy..my dad's da best..
i'll try to avoid her as much as posible..caz she nag non-stop jus lyk her mom

btw i met my pri sch best fwen...things changed alot le...hey u ppl still rox my world k?

♥ murasakiyukiko

2:29 PM

Sunday, July 10

nTh t0 sAe aCtuaLly... d!D tiS ferR eNgLisH onLi... mY cLs sHLd n0E
>heexhee<

i'm beRi happy n0W...
contented wit evrythin i have...
and i'll treasure 'em
happie...

♥ murasakiyukiko

1:53 PM